You Can Never Go Back

You Can Never Go Back

Why does the truth have to be so sad.  Why can we never go back.  All the way, to way back when. When we knew so much less and were blissfully ignorant.  I have grown and now realize that knowing is not always better.  You can never go back to the way you were.  Such a sad and heartbreaking thought.  Once those glasses are put on and things are in focus, you will forever see the tiny details and blemishes that you wish you were still ignorant of. You can try and pretend that they don't exist, but deep down you know that they do and you will forever remember it. Granted, in the future  it may not bother you in quite the same way it does in the beginning, but it will always be there, a dirty spot, forever stained into your fragile memory. Worse still, once you know of the blemish your perspective is forever changed, you are no longer ignorant of it's existence. You will forever know.  It changes who you are and it steals your innocence and joy out from under you.  All of who you are, who you were, has been violated, never to return to its former state, to its former glory.  You have no say in the matter. You never did.  No matter your heart or true intent you cannot alter the other's choice to create the blemish nor the moment you were unexpectedly forced to look upon it.  You can only dream about and remember when.  You can only morn what might have been.  You can never go back to what was.  It was taken from you and your course has been forever altered.  Who is to say where it will go.  It is beyond control.  The innocence is forever gone, replaced by sadness that will forever taint.  That realization brings pure pain, pure sorrow.  At least there are two; present, precious, pure, and unblemished, there hope lies that it may possibly someway, somehow be if not different, at least changed, at least better.  Yet, it is what it is.  The mourning continues, it will forever be apart of who you are.  It is now your lot to be haunted not only by the blemish but the memory of its prior absence. You must accept fate, must accept destiny, you will never be the same, You Can Never Go Back.   

Remember to savor what is lacking a blemish, cherish the fuzzy and unfocused view, because once the blemish appears and your view is altered it will never, can never, be returned to it's prior state.  Time may ease the pain, but it cannot erase the scar.